It started with a dream, with “It” being the clue that it was time to accept some things. I apparently don’t do that easily.
Here’s the dream:
I was leaving my brother and sister in law’s place, but it wasn’t really their house – you know how dreams do that. I was traveling a road I’ve driven since I was 16 when suddenly I was in a field. I had no idea how I’d gotten there – I tried to remember if I’d felt the bump of a curb (I hadn’t) and looked back to see how far off the road I’d gone, but there was no road anymore, and I realized that I hadn’t made a turn, the road was just gone.
I got out of the car and was standing on dirt with flowering weeds standing at least three-and-a-half feet tall all around and I thought “well the flowers are pretty.” Somehow I was not thinking about finding the road as much as I was wondering how it all happened.
I had this dream on June 11, 2011. Ten days later was the last day I tried to go into work - MS wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t walk, had wicked vertigo, and more terrifying, I was thinking one thing and saying something else without knowing it. Within a month I had filed for Social Security Disability, had a wheelchair delivered to my place and had been told to move since I lived on the third floor and there was no way I could safely get out of the place if there was a fire.
It’s been a mind-boggling seven months, but through it all God has been so present, in big and in quiet ways. I have experienced so much love and support from family and friends; I am so blessed and humbled. Truly the flowers are so pretty that I accept that there is no road for me anymore.
I hope my new blog messages encourage you to praise God and love, accept and care for yourself!
